Have you ever thought why speakers(almost all) address the public with a startup "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN" before delivering an ocean of english alphabets permuted and combined artistically.I agree we have to address before speech as per ethics,but my focus is on these two special words used:-"LADIES","GENTLEMEN".Four questions scribbling me on this matter,(1)Is it cause all LADIES,but few MEN are GENTLE??(2)Is it cause all LADIES arrogant and all MEN GENTLE,but using the word arrogant hurts,so only "LADIES'??or (3)Is there any axiom that if you put any adjective before addressing them,they will make a debate on it like if its a positive adjective,they will think this speaker is flattering,hence he doen't have any originality and if the adjective is a negative one,speaker doesn't have any sense of humour,uske maa behen mar gaye kya,this way a fish market will spoil the essence of that speech??...I got fed up ,but hai you(lady/gentleman)
Socha Hai... Yeh Tumne Kya Kabhi
Socha Hai... Ki Hain Yeh Kya Sabhi
Socha Hai... Socha Nahi To Socho Abhi...
Friday, September 26, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Not a penny more,But a penny less
If u,the diehard fans of Jeffry archer, will persuade him,then he will definitely plan to write a piece on How to bankrupt panda,as i raped the name of one of his famous novels.But if Jeffry is optimist,he won't COMPLAIN ABOUT THE NOISE,WHEN OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS with a transparent mask called advertisement.wish he is.
From the last 23 years,I hardly got a chance to show others that the runner in me can make BOLT stripping-before-me-to-get-gold than dancing-after-game-for-getting-gold in 100m race event of Beinjing olympics 2k8.May be i could have bagged the best filmy-coach award for directing Tom hanks on how to run around the globe without taking a break during shooting of Forest gump.Leave the past,be in the present.Today is mine.I will catch the bus.No i cannot.Yeah i can.No i cannot.Lets give it a try.The distance between me and the bus is increasing opposite to the rate of attraction of an iron-magnet pair.I had increased my speed to make the relative velocity between us tending to zero.Not caring about the potholes on the cemented pavement ,i kept on running..running ..and running....
May be the driver was scanning his side area,usually flooded with girls ,and by chance his +2.5 dioptred powerful eyes caught sight of a poor chap making efforts to catch the bus.Then he must have thought about SRK in DDLJ running behind the train for Kajol , his sympathetic heart must have instructed do-something-or-i-will-die,following which he gave the volvo a momentary stop and let the door opened mechanically.I hardly stepped in,it started rolling.I don't understand why these drivers are so hurried,even they don't care whether your whole body or just asshole is in.Always they start the bus suddenly after a momentary break,as if they stopped the revolution of earth for the last second.
I like this smiley skinny conductor not because of his appearance,but of the placidity in his behaviour.In the end it does not even matter,achha lage ya bura,35 rupees(busfare) to lega bo,free main thodi jaane dega.Its too rush inside the bus,even air particles has to beg excuse to kiss their neighbours just 1mm apart.I am not sure whether Today is thursday or not,but can bet its not a monday since i accepted the LOVE letter yesterday in the office cafe.(mujhe pata hai,aap soch rahe honge ki mr. Nenderthal ko love letter kahan se mila,lekin ye wo nahin jo aap sochte hain,its a corporate love letter euphemism for increment letter).I checked the day column of my CONIO wrist watch repeatedly.Yeah it's Thursday morning only,then why its so rush,first time in the last 4 months.i didn't know how many shoes were crushed under me while forcing small steps in between mingling jeans cladded legs to get some space in the core area of bus.
Now its time to make my money purse a bit lighter in weight as conductor(Mr. C) reclined on my right half with a sudden jerk of bus.In money matters, its better to be a sensitive receiver than a high power transmitter if and only if you know you have to lose it,so i waited for the time when he will ask me.When i was trying to adjust my handbag,suddenly heard somebody yelling,"1 rupee sir".i didn't care that as i had n't yet given the busfare(rs.35/-),who cares for some 1 rupee.Second time in the same voice,"1 rupee sir".Somebody begging inside a volvo bus,resembles a-beautiful-girl-in-NIT/IIT conudrum as bychance it can happen if AAJTAK team made 5 continuous nightouts praying GOD to get the heart BREAKING NEWS of the decade.I turned my head 90 degrees left vertically aligning my nose with left shoulder joint to check the beggar out. Again the same voice,"1 rupee sir".But this time i caught him,its Mr.C.
Me:-wait a second let me stand propely,i will give you the fare.
Mr. C:-ok,sir.
(after few seconds)i took out one shinning 100 rupee note from my purse to hand it over to Mr.C.
Me:- Yeah take it.(100rupee note tucked between my fore finger and middle finger of right hand and all the fingers of right hand taking a shape close to that of right hand thumb rule.It was so fresh n stainless that you can notice,even MK gandhi was laughing instead of smiling (as in other notes)deep inside the watermark portion of the note.But What happened to this fellow,No reactions,no emotions,no response...nothing.)
Mr. C:-"1 rupee sir".(with a facial expression similar to that of an elephant,who unknowingly took a ripe banana in his mouth,which he hates).
Me:- What boss,i have not given you the fare yet.What is this one rupee??
Mr. C:- Sir, today if you have a one rupee coin, then only you are allowed to use volvo,otherwise sorry.as per the rule you are not allowed.
What rubbish he is talking to me,i was embarrassed.Then i saw myriad eyes poking at me. Its like I was watching Taare volvo Par,a remake of Taare Zamin Par.Somebody from my back muttered:- from today till coming sunday, VOLVO rate is 1 rupee.Just 1 rupee,wherever you go in bangalore.Its a kinda of advertisement for BSNL's "one india plan" by that company.i was taken aback by a sudden surge of lightning with "Kyon chaunk gaye??" (as in the ad of TIDE).(Domlur to Ginger-not 35 rupees ,only 1 rupee)Now i joined with others praising this idea.
Mr. C:-sir, i want...
Me:-what??
Mr. C:- "1 rupee".
I searched every corner of my Notes-stuffed purse,but didn't get glimpse of a coin,leave about one rupee.A guy in his twenties supporting a black colored i-carbon bag handed one rupee to the conductor for me.When i looked at him,he made a gesture of "take it easy man,enjoi".Then Mr. C shifted his gaze to some other passenger to collect one rupee from him.So in the next stoppages whoever got into volvo,used to get that shocking good news like me.
I heard most of the guys planned how to make maximum use of volvo in next three days as its available at almost free of cost.It's INDIA meri jaan.kuchh bhi free main dedo,log aise faida lenge ki free main dene balako dil ka daura padne se bo AIIMS mein admit hoga,but after somedays he/she will be declared dead(100% gaurantee),not cause of the negligence of doctors there,but because he/she would not want to hear the acerbic comments like "sala ek number ka MAMU tha,jo aise free main de raha tha." or "abhi tak jinda hai kya bo??kaise bach gaya bo ,dil ka dohra padatha na use"..etc etc... from those same people served by him .The scenario became like that for the next three days.Even doors of some volvos were broken.you can see colourful spits on the decorated costly window glasses of the bus from inside.I don't know what happened to BSNL after that ,whether anybody tried to take a connection from their network or cursed him for not giving that kinda of discount for some more days.
From the last 23 years,I hardly got a chance to show others that the runner in me can make BOLT stripping-before-me-to-get-gold than dancing-after-game-for-getting-gold in 100m race event of Beinjing olympics 2k8.May be i could have bagged the best filmy-coach award for directing Tom hanks on how to run around the globe without taking a break during shooting of Forest gump.Leave the past,be in the present.Today is mine.I will catch the bus.No i cannot.Yeah i can.No i cannot.Lets give it a try.The distance between me and the bus is increasing opposite to the rate of attraction of an iron-magnet pair.I had increased my speed to make the relative velocity between us tending to zero.Not caring about the potholes on the cemented pavement ,i kept on running..running ..and running....
May be the driver was scanning his side area,usually flooded with girls ,and by chance his +2.5 dioptred powerful eyes caught sight of a poor chap making efforts to catch the bus.Then he must have thought about SRK in DDLJ running behind the train for Kajol , his sympathetic heart must have instructed do-something-or-i-will-die,following which he gave the volvo a momentary stop and let the door opened mechanically.I hardly stepped in,it started rolling.I don't understand why these drivers are so hurried,even they don't care whether your whole body or just asshole is in.Always they start the bus suddenly after a momentary break,as if they stopped the revolution of earth for the last second.
I like this smiley skinny conductor not because of his appearance,but of the placidity in his behaviour.In the end it does not even matter,achha lage ya bura,35 rupees(busfare) to lega bo,free main thodi jaane dega.Its too rush inside the bus,even air particles has to beg excuse to kiss their neighbours just 1mm apart.I am not sure whether Today is thursday or not,but can bet its not a monday since i accepted the LOVE letter yesterday in the office cafe.(mujhe pata hai,aap soch rahe honge ki mr. Nenderthal ko love letter kahan se mila,lekin ye wo nahin jo aap sochte hain,its a corporate love letter euphemism for increment letter).I checked the day column of my CONIO wrist watch repeatedly.Yeah it's Thursday morning only,then why its so rush,first time in the last 4 months.i didn't know how many shoes were crushed under me while forcing small steps in between mingling jeans cladded legs to get some space in the core area of bus.
Now its time to make my money purse a bit lighter in weight as conductor(Mr. C) reclined on my right half with a sudden jerk of bus.In money matters, its better to be a sensitive receiver than a high power transmitter if and only if you know you have to lose it,so i waited for the time when he will ask me.When i was trying to adjust my handbag,suddenly heard somebody yelling,"1 rupee sir".i didn't care that as i had n't yet given the busfare(rs.35/-),who cares for some 1 rupee.Second time in the same voice,"1 rupee sir".Somebody begging inside a volvo bus,resembles a-beautiful-girl-in-NIT/IIT conudrum as bychance it can happen if AAJTAK team made 5 continuous nightouts praying GOD to get the heart BREAKING NEWS of the decade.I turned my head 90 degrees left vertically aligning my nose with left shoulder joint to check the beggar out. Again the same voice,"1 rupee sir".But this time i caught him,its Mr.C.
Me:-wait a second let me stand propely,i will give you the fare.
Mr. C:-ok,sir.
(after few seconds)i took out one shinning 100 rupee note from my purse to hand it over to Mr.C.
Me:- Yeah take it.(100rupee note tucked between my fore finger and middle finger of right hand and all the fingers of right hand taking a shape close to that of right hand thumb rule.It was so fresh n stainless that you can notice,even MK gandhi was laughing instead of smiling (as in other notes)deep inside the watermark portion of the note.But What happened to this fellow,No reactions,no emotions,no response...nothing.)
Mr. C:-"1 rupee sir".(with a facial expression similar to that of an elephant,who unknowingly took a ripe banana in his mouth,which he hates).
Me:- What boss,i have not given you the fare yet.What is this one rupee??
Mr. C:- Sir, today if you have a one rupee coin, then only you are allowed to use volvo,otherwise sorry.as per the rule you are not allowed.
What rubbish he is talking to me,i was embarrassed.Then i saw myriad eyes poking at me. Its like I was watching Taare volvo Par,a remake of Taare Zamin Par.Somebody from my back muttered:- from today till coming sunday, VOLVO rate is 1 rupee.Just 1 rupee,wherever you go in bangalore.Its a kinda of advertisement for BSNL's "one india plan" by that company.i was taken aback by a sudden surge of lightning with "Kyon chaunk gaye??" (as in the ad of TIDE).(Domlur to Ginger-not 35 rupees ,only 1 rupee)Now i joined with others praising this idea.
Mr. C:-sir, i want...
Me:-what??
Mr. C:- "1 rupee".
I searched every corner of my Notes-stuffed purse,but didn't get glimpse of a coin,leave about one rupee.A guy in his twenties supporting a black colored i-carbon bag handed one rupee to the conductor for me.When i looked at him,he made a gesture of "take it easy man,enjoi".Then Mr. C shifted his gaze to some other passenger to collect one rupee from him.So in the next stoppages whoever got into volvo,used to get that shocking good news like me.
I heard most of the guys planned how to make maximum use of volvo in next three days as its available at almost free of cost.It's INDIA meri jaan.kuchh bhi free main dedo,log aise faida lenge ki free main dene balako dil ka daura padne se bo AIIMS mein admit hoga,but after somedays he/she will be declared dead(100% gaurantee),not cause of the negligence of doctors there,but because he/she would not want to hear the acerbic comments like "sala ek number ka MAMU tha,jo aise free main de raha tha." or "abhi tak jinda hai kya bo??kaise bach gaya bo ,dil ka dohra padatha na use"..etc etc... from those same people served by him .The scenario became like that for the next three days.Even doors of some volvos were broken.you can see colourful spits on the decorated costly window glasses of the bus from inside.I don't know what happened to BSNL after that ,whether anybody tried to take a connection from their network or cursed him for not giving that kinda of discount for some more days.
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